I saw an ad for a Perfect Match service, where you text your name and your boyfriend's name to 666 or some such number, and it texts you back your chances of being intellectually and sexually compatible and living a long and happy life together. As foolproof as this method seems, I've spent years developing my own compatibility evaluation exam and am happy to report that on the basis of my extensive research, there is only one fact you need to know about your future partner, and that is whether or not he brings you coffee in bed in the morning.

I'm not suggesting that if he doesn't, there's 100% chance that your relationship is doomed, but let's just say it doesn't look good.  To me, that is.