1. Christmas is the most wonderful day of the year.

2. Jostling with 4 billion other people on Oxford street is an inevitable part of the Christmas experience.

3. Everyone loves getting presents.

4. The Nutcracker never palls. Not even after 15 bloody years.

5. Children don't believe you love them if you don't get them tons of expensive stuff.

6. Whoever gets the most Christmas cards wins.

I don't like getting presents (what else is the internet for if not to indulge our every whim 365 days a year?), most children have a crying jag at 4pm on Christmas day due to the inevitable disappointment of Christmas not being as satisfying as the second coming and the apocalypse all mixed into one, little kids DO generally prefer the box, big kids really only want money, and if you think an i-phone is going to improve your life I suggest you buy one yourself.

Christmas is the best time of the year to do something low-key, skip the debt, donate time or money to someone less fortunate, spend time with people you love, have a meal, a drink or two, some mince pies, a game of Bananagrams, laugh a lot and call it a life.

Yeah, yeah, it's a big cliche, but most of us don't need more stuff to be happy.

p.s. If anyone's interested, all three of us need socks.