Creative writing 101

I don't usually make a big noise of the fact that I went to Harvard. It wasn't so hard to gain admission back in the pleistocine age. And it was filled with all sorts of people who seemed to be there on some pretext other than sheer weight of intellect (we used to call it 'geographical distribution'). But still.

Despite the fact that I can't solve my 13-year-old's quadratic equations and have been known to mix up my Cromwells, by most objective standards I'm considered moderately well-educated. Not too shabby at problem solving. Good at complex concepts. (OK, crap at politics. Could that be my problem?) Reading comprehension? A* with one eye tied behind my back.

So if (after standing for ten minutes in front of a sign) I can't figure out whether it's safe to park, who can?